Counting Headlights on the Highway
by AmazingGraceless
Summary: Sequel to A Drink Called Loneliness. Jaina, Jacen, and Han Skywalker are growing up in an uncertain time as the Galactic Alliance, Remnant, and Hapes struggle for power. All this will change when strange maps are found. Rey is a Skywalker, Kylo is not, Reylo parents.
1. Baby Darling

It was surprising how well the three younglings blended into the crowds of Coruscant. Outside the Imperial Palace, everyone was abuzz. Ben Solo-Skywalker would be addressing the populace on the latest collaboration of the Galactic Alliance. Despite the rocky start, all had gone relatively well between the First Order and the New Republic.

"I hear the Princess will be making an appearance," a handsome man muttered to the regal woman beside him.

"Really?" this woman's tone was disdainful. "Princess of what, again, Isolder?"

"Of Alderaan, mother!" Isolder cried in surprise. "Of Alderaan! She's the last person alive who remembers it!"

"Indeed," Isolder's mother said in a still-icy tone. "I'd forgotten. We should find our seats-our special ones. I'd rather not have to look at some of the garish clothes these peasants are wearing."

"Yes, Mother," Isolder said meekly, and he escorted his mother away quickly. What neither he nor his mother saw, however, was the blazing green eyes of a female youngling standing in the crowd.

 _I see her, Jaysa._

Pushing her thoughts towards her twin was a second nature-if not her first. To her surprise, it wasn't her twin who replied first.

 _That's Tenel Ka's mother?_

 _Grandmother,_ the female youngling corrected. She agreed with her younger brother's assessment. _Jaysa?_

 _Hold on for one minute, Jaya!_

She frowned at her twin's abrasiveness.

 _Sorry. . . I just saw Tenel Ka. Can you maybe give me some privacy?_

 _Why? So you and her can. . ._

 _I didn't need that image, thanks. Please, Jaya?_

 _Fine, Jaysa._ She reluctantly agreed and ducked out of his head. She hated it. She hated being cut off from anyone. She'd never been truly alone and she feared it. Another person blocking her was another step to being completely, truly, utterly alone.

 _I know, he's annoying, especially when it comes to Tenel Ka,_ her little brother relied. _I'm still here._

 _Thanks, Han,_ she replied in relief. _Is Tahiri here?_

 _No, she's still with Luke on Anch-To,_ Han informed her.

 _I meant in the Force, dummy,_ she snapped.

 _Oh. . . No. I'm going up to the platform. Dad's going to start talking soon. You should probably get going, too._

 _I will,_ she promised, and as soon as she'd finished that thought, she turned around to see her mother.

"Come on, Jaina, we need to be up to the balcony," Kira Rey Skywalker-Solo said. Jaina bit her lip and followed her mother through the crowd to their Noghri bodyguards. They were escorted to a lift, where a slightly disheveled Jacen was standing in the box.

Jaina smirked, already experiencing the flashback secondhand. Red hair, silk and scales, and the smell of Dathomiri flowers filled Jacen's mind like a fog. There was an uncanny and awkward silence as they waited for the elevator to open.

Standing behind the balcony doors were Han, (spotless and perfect-looking) General Leia Organa, (dressed in a white Alderaanian dress that had survived the destruction and the end of her princess days) and Ben Solo-Skywalker, dressed in Nubian robes.

He immediately embraced his wife, the two embracing in the Force as well. It disgusted Jaina to think of that as a use for the Force.

"Thank you, Mother, for doing this," Ben murmured, looking to Leia.

"You've come a long way from the way you were," she said. "I'm happy to help with politics, rather than the Jedi. Remember what I told you."

Ben nodded. "Let's go."

The Imperial Family plastered their usual smiles on their faces as they emerged onto the balcony. It never ceased to amaze Jaina, the people cheering for her family, people from all over the galaxy. She sat in her designated seat, and resisted the temptation to go into a trance for this. Ben always told her that history was important, and Luke only repeated that sentiment.

This was something that younglings would study in history books twenty, thirty, a hundred years later.

"Welcome to the Imperial Palace!" Ben's commanding voice took the acoustics of the seating in the outdoor area by storm. "In the coming standard week, we will be celebrating fifteen years since the death of the Supreme Leader and the beginning of the Galactic Alliance!"

A deafening roar rose from the crowd. Jaina's sharp Jade eyes caught the expression of Tenel Ka's grandmother-dry, haughty, and unimpressed.

 _Just you wait,_ Jaina thought.

"This isn't just some anniversary, however," Ben continued, briefly glancing down at his podium, quick to look up again. "This year, we will discuss our latest goal-as introduced by Resistance General and Princess of Alderaan, LEIA ORGANA!"

Whistles and cheers joined the applause as Leia approached the podium.

"I have lived a long time," Leia said amiably. "I have seen many governments. I only hope this Alliance will last as long as the Old Republic once did. We plan to negotiate with any and all groups that have not joined us-including the Remnant!"

There was an uncertainty to that in the crowd-Jaina could sense it. She understood. The Remnant, she'd been told her whole life, was bad. Led by Armitage Hux, a name cursed with Corellian and Alderaanian words Ben had hastily told the twins to never repeat, (they did, to Han, in the closet immediately after) it stood for an Empire of pure evil.

 _Why in the name of the Force would anyone want to negotiate with them?_

"It has long been time for peace," Leia continued. "And as old and experienced as I am, I will die trying to achieve it."

Jaina wished she'd said something else, anything else, when the sniper shot rang out and barely curved around Leia's head.


	2. Bloodlines

Lightsabers were out before another shot could be fired. Han hurried Leia inside to the Noghri guards, one hand resting on the hilt of his lightsaber. He could hear the blaster fire and the vroom of the lightsaber.

He could sense Jaina's primal joy in joining the fight, in being able to use the family lightsaber she'd inherited just weeks before. She was a fighter, much like their parents.

Han had never been that way.

Leia and Han were surrounded by the Noghri guards as they escorted them to one of the many safe rooms in the palace. As soon as they approached it, Han began to turn around when a Noghri stopped him.

"Son of the Mal'ary'ush and Ren'ary'ush, you may not go out there," the Noghri guard grunted.

"But my parents and Jacen and Jaina and Tenel Ka and the people-" Han protested.

"The Mal'ary'ush and the Ren'ary'ush can handle themselves," the Noghri assured him. "Jacen and Jaina? They'll be fine, Vader."

"I asked you to stop calling me that," Han said irritably as an edge of fear crept in. "I'm not him."

"You know you have Lord Vader's power," the Noghri guard said softly. "You and the girl. . ."

"I'm not him," Han repeated firmly. He couldn't hold it against the Noghri-not really. With how they prized Vader's bloodline, it was no wonder they thought him to be Darth Vader reborn.

He sat next to Leia, him being the favorite grandchild. Leia couldn't really do much with Jaina, with her tomboy Jedi ways much like their mother and her mother before her, or Jacen and his Force philosophy.

"You look like him," Leia said affectionately. "He used to get worried whenever I got hurt, though he tried to hide it, being the big scoundrel he was."

Han nodded. "Are you alright?"

"Scared me," Leia admitted. "But I'm fine. I'd gotten worse, back in the Rebel Alliance."

Han nodded again in reply. He waited with Leia in the longest five minutes of his life, listening to blaster shots and wishing he could be out there, could be doing something to stop it.

 _If I have all this great power, why can't I use it?_

Han sighed. In five minutes, however, Jacen and Jaina reluctantly followed their Noghri guards and toward Han and Leia, Ben and Rey following them.

"The situation is under control," Ben said in an even voice. "Deflecting the bolt was enough. . . The sniper disappeared, although everything's a riot out there. The Imperial Guard is working with that."

"Was anyone hurt?" Han asked.

"A few trampled, but they'll live," Rey said with a glance at Ben. "Ta'Chume's probably going to be a pain about this."

"I'll talk to her," Ben said.

"No, I will," Leia said, rising from the couch. "We both know Ta'Chume won't respect you."

"Hapan law is stupid," Rey muttered.

"But it is better to have a lady negotiate with the Hapans," Leia said primly. "Especially the Queen Mother. And who better is there than the former princess of Alderaan?"

With that, Leia turned on her heel with surprising spryness for a woman her age and walked away to greet Ta'Chume. Rey looked to Han.

"Good job, getting Aunt Leia inside," Rey said with a bright smile.

Han merely nodded, letting his appreciation drift towards her in the Force.

"And good job, Jaina, reflecting the blaster bolt," Rey continued. "And you too, Jacen, creating the shield over the people. You're both good."

"Grandpa Luke did say that we'd be Jedi Knights soon," Jaina said, twin smirks on her and Jacen's faces.

Rey managed to chuckle and rumpled the dark hair of the twins. Han noticed that Ben was quiet in his dark elegant robes.

"Rey, I'll be in the bedroom," he said in an almost whisper. For not the first time, Han wished that he didn't use the Force so often to overhear things and enhance his senses.

It was like breathing for Han, though. He knew not everyone heard and sensed things so strongly it sometimes hurt to live, but he never knew any other way. As long as he could remember, he unconsciously reached out to others in the Force and enhanced everything.

He was willing to pay that price, for fear of life without the Force. The only time he never hurt was when he was with Tahiri.

 _Ani?_

Han jumped at Tahiri's nickname for him.

 _Tiri?_

 _I'm right here. Meditating. It's boring. What are you doing?_

Han swallowed thickly, combating the strange feeling he had when talking to the girl two years younger than him. Just helped get Grandmother Leia away from an assassination attempt during her speech.

 _Oh my gods. Are you okay, Ani?_

 _I'm fine,_ he assured her, wincing at her rushed, panicked thoughts. _Everyone's fine. The Noghri wouldn't let me help, though._

 _Thank the gods_ , Tahiri repeated. _Han Anakin Skywalker, we both know that you'd get yourself killed if you got into a huge thing like that._

 _I find your lack of faith disturbing._

There was a long pause.

 _I didn't mean it like that. I worry about you, dummy._

Some part of Han made him blush at that. He somehow cherished the feeling of her worrying about him.

 _I miss you,_ she finally said. _I really can't wait for you to come back home._

 _Home,_ Han repeated, picturing Anch-To and the Force Tree. _Don't worry, I'll come back for you, sweetheart._

 _I hope so._

Han was disappointed that she'd cut off the connection. All he was left with was a lingering of her emotions, something very sweet, almost unbearably so, like a candy he'd tried at one of the Imperial bases he'd visited in his childhood.

He shook his head and sighed. With a jolt, he realized that everyone else had left. He scurried off to find them, following his brother, his sister, and his mother's strong Force signatures deeper in the Imperial Palace.


	3. Ballerina

Jacen Skywalker was only afraid for what the disturbance meant for the Galactic Alliance. Whomever it had been had interrupted at a crucial time. His grandmother was about to make the greatest alliance of their age, and someone had ruined it. He knew the crowds would blame the Remnant. He could sense it in their panic during the attack, and he could sense it lingering in the palace, drifting from the house staff and others racing around.

To hide his stress, he rumpled his little brother's neatly gelled hair when he walked through the door into the lounge.

"Hey!" Han protested. "It's not my fault my hair actually sticks, unlike your scruffy mess!"

"Who are you calling scruffy?" Jacen demanded. "And I thought my hair was more fluffy!"

"You wish," Jaina snorted from across the room. "Everyone here knows I've got the best hair here."

"You do not," Han stated in a comically serious voice. The three siblings had the equally fluffy dark hair of their father, with a reddish sheen of their mother's auburn hair.

"Why? Is Tahiri Veila's hair better than ours?" Jaina taunted.

Even Jacen winced at his twin's taunt. He could only imagine being in Han's shoes at that moment. . . Immediately he pictured Tenel Ka's fiery red braids, felt the silky texture even as they tangled between his red-knuckled fingers.

He tried to banish the thought from his mind, as Rey looked to Jaina with disapproval.

"Don't tease your brother," she said coolly. "Tahiri is such a nice girl, Han. You should invite her to Coruscant sometime."

"She's not a fan of cities," Han said, his cheeks flushing a brilliant reddish hue.

"That's too bad," Rey said, picking up a mug of hot chocolate sitting on the tray of the sitting room. "I'd love to show her around. That poor girl hasn't left Anch-To since Father took her in. She deserves to see something more than sand and stone. I remember my first time away from it all-"

The Solo brats let out a long, definitely audible groan.

"We've heard that story a million times, Mom," Jaina assured her quickly.

"From you and Uncle Finn," Jacen added helpfully.

"And Dad," Han added as he took his own mug. Apparently the liking of the drink was genetic. He'd actually only heard the story once from their father. He wasn't exactly the type to join in on reminiscing over the old days from what Han could surmise.

Rey sighed. "I know you're getting old when you're telling me that you've heard all my stories a _million_ times."

She then got to her feet with a surprising urgency.

"I wanted to make sure you three were alright. Now if you'll excuse me, I've got to go talk to your father," she said, straightening her Nubian robe she'd received on her fifth anniversary. She walked off with a catlike grace.

Jacen turned to talk to Jaina excitedly/nervously on what had just conspired, when he detected the Force Signature of ice and fire contained in one beautiful Jedi Queen. Picturing her silky red blades and her cool pale skin, he stood, drawn to her like a moon is always drawn to a planet.

He was quick to find her standing with her grandmother, dressed in a silken green gown and a mess of straps, staring at him with her piercing storm-cloud eyes. A moment of communication passed through them. Their grandmothers were engaged in a game and battle of words and wits, but they wouldn't wait. Or at least, Jacen wouldn't wait.

"Tenel," he exhaled, but was quick to correct himself as he floated over to her. "Ka Chume'Ta Djo. What an honor to see you here."

Her stormy eyes were amused behind her stone-cold facade.

"Thank you, Padwan Skywalker," she said in her most haughty tone. "It is a pleasure to see you as well. It's also reassuring to know that one of my most admirable peers survived such a tragedy."

"I'd like to wish the same to you," he said, aware of the reddening of his cheeks. _I really ought to figure out what to do about that_! Tenel Ka's painted scarlet lips curled into a faint smile, cracking her cover.

"I think I saw a bracelet that look like it was yours," he said carefully. "May you come with me to see if it is?"

"Of course," Tenel Ka replied, a hint of excitement breaking through.

"Be careful, Tenel Ka," Ta'Chume warned. "I don't like you being alone with this boy."

"Oh, do worry, Grandmother," Tenel Ka said airily. "I'm a Jedi Knight in training, the daughter of a Dathomiri warrior, and the future Queen Mother of Hapes. Only a fool would dare touch me without my permission."

"There are plenty of fools," Ta'Chume grumbled, fluttering her fan faster with irritation. "Hurry back. We need to get somewhere safer than this old junk."

Before he could hear Leia's passive-aggressive response, Jacen escorted Tenel Ka down the hall quicker than he thought he may ever have before. As soon as they walked up a flight of stairs and turned a corner so they were out of view of the Queen Mother, Tenel Ka embraced Jacen, pushing him against the wall.

"I was so worried for you," she whispered. "That is a fact."

"I-I can't describe how happy I am," he admitted, ecstatic to hold her again. They held onto each other like they were each other's anchor to life.

"We can't," she said softly. "Ta'Chume would never approve. We can't keep pretending that a Skywalker Jedi prodigy and the heir of the Hapes Consortium is going to work out."

"We're not pretending," Jacen said. "We're making it work. I know you care about what your grandmother thinks, but you've got to admit, you've been wrong about me lots of times."

"And you're arrogant enough to think that you'll be right again?" Tenel Ka patted his cheek and kissed him. "Good thing you're cute, or I'd want to prove you wrong. I'll see you at the Academy."

Like a princess in a fairytale, she scurried down the stares with an elegance and pride Jacen could never match in all his years. _Oh yes, this was love._


	4. Anch-To

Luke hugged Leia, who had come with Rey and Ben to see Han, Jaina, and Jacen off.

"I'm happy to hear you're all safe," he said. "I heard about the trouble on Coruscant. I've sent some of my best to take a look into it."

"And me," Rey said with a small smile. "Besides being the Supreme Leader's bodyguard."

Ben rolled his eyes endearingly.

"It hasn't done well for our relations with the Hapes Consort," Ben admitted. "They believe the Remnant was behind the attack. The Remnant believes that the New Republic did it to frame them, and it's just a mess."

"The Jedi I sent, or Kira, will get to the bottom of this," Luke promised. "Mara promised to check it out if none of them can find it."

"Thank you, Uncle Luke, you've done so much for me," Ben said, and he looked to his children. "Be good and stay out of trouble, will you?"

"I'll try," Han said.

"I will," Jacen told him.

"I probably won't," Jaina admitted.

Ben affectionately rumpled her hair like she was ten, not fourteen.

"Try anyway, Jaya," he said. "I love you. I love all of you."

The departure was interrupted by a girl of eleven who tackled Han to the ground in a hug.

"Ani!" she cried. "Gods I missed you!"

"Missed you too!" he managed to squeak out.

"Sorry," the girl said, suddenly realizing her mistake. She leapt to her feet and pulled Han up with her. She smiled and dusted off her Jedi tunic and pants.

"Nice to see you again, Tahiri," Rey said brightly. "I trust your studies have been going well?"

"Very well," Tahiri agreed. "Master Horn-Bridger is teaching me all sorts of things, like how to go into a trance and see stuff like the future and she said she'll start teaching me how to use a lightsaber this week!"

"Sounds exciting," Rey remarked with a sly glance at Ben. "If you ever need any help, ask me. I taught Jaina, Jacen, and Han all they know."

Ben and Luke simultaneously snorted.

Rey rolled her eyes. "Your lack of faith is disturbing. Anyways, Jaina, listen to your father, Jacen, listen to your uncle, and Han. . . You and Tahiri have fun, alright?"

"Alright," the three Solo children chorused. A part of Jaina hated watching her parents and Grandma Leia go. She'd suppressed this ever since she was a child-she remembered all too well the first night she realized that Coruscant wasn't safe for them and Anch-To was.

She plastered the political smile she'd been trained as Rey and Ben smiled apologetically, affectionately before the door of the shuttle had closed. They took off, and the three children, Tahiri, and Luke were standing at the landing bay.

"Come on," Luke said with a mischievous twinkle in his eye. "Jacen, Tenel Ka arrived."

"Oh, thanks," Jacen said, and he ran off faster than either Han or Jaina had remembered without use of the Force. Jaina frowned, hating how he was cutting her off-again. Han glanced at her with an apologetic look on his face.

Can I?

Fine, Jaina replied. Han grinned and turned to Tahiri.

"Mind if I give you some tips on how to use a lightsaber?" Han asked her.

"Please do," Tahiri answered. Han then took her hand and the two ran off. Jaina suppressed what she felt, the pangs of loneliness, the fear of abandonment. Logically, she knew there was nothing to fear, she knew her brothers and parents and grandmother loved her, but the feeling still persisted.

She and Luke walked along the path. The silent contemplative atmosphere made her think of her nightmares. Ever since the attack, she'd been dreaming of a dark-haired woman who resembled her father, one with a robotic tattoo, morphing into an android with a light-whip and very human yellow eyes.

She dreamed of wielding red lightsabers alongside this woman. Jaina hadn't told Jacen about it, but she knew, like she knew anything and everything about him, that he had the same dream, except he was standing in her place.

Jaina wondered if she should tell Luke about it-but a nightmare was a nightmare, and surely she was braver than that-right? Right?

She sighed and kicked at one of the rocks. She was happy to be wearing her more worn boots and Jedi robes rather than the restrictive dress code of Coruscant. Rey always told her that she didn't like it much either, but it was the way things were. Force, she hated that phrase.

Still, Jaina followed Luke to the cottage, where Mara sat inside, cleaning her flamethrower and sharpening her vibroblades. Only a few streaks of red had remained as stubborn as she, and instead her hair had faded to white and gray.

"Hello Jaya," she said pleasantly, looking up from her flamethrower. "Glad to see you and your brothers made it. Want to help me clean?"

"Sure," Jaina said, and she entered the hut, sitting down next to her aunt while Luke sat on the bed cross-legged. Or attempted to.

"Shoes off, Farmboy," Mara scolded.

Luke grumbled something under his breath as he removed his boots. Jaina couldn't help but smile at things like this. While she'd rather be a Jedi Knight, going on grand adventures in the Millennium Falcon, she didn't mind little moments like these. She grabbed her grandmother's DL-44 and began polishing it. She knew the inner workings of such mechanics like she knew the moles and freckles on her face and hands.

They sat in a content silence.


	5. Beloved

Rey hated being in the Imperial Palace. While she enjoyed the hustle and bustle and interesting sights of Coruscant, she despised the politics. What Ben did was important, they both knew that, and there were some unexpectedly nice priveledges to being the consort of the new Supreme Leader and Ambassador of the First Order. For example, a nice palace to raise their children in when they weren't on Anch-To.

Politics meant the endless waiting and waiting and waiting. Rey'd had enough waiting for a lifetime.

Ben placed his hand on the scanner and the door slid open. As soon as both of them were in the room, a kiss took place. It was moments like that, moments of passion and love that allowed Rey to forget that she was ever alone, and Ben to forget the times his mind wasn't his.

They broke away, and Rey's lips curled into a smile.

"I love you so much," she whispered as their foreheads touched tenderly. They embraced in the Force as well, letting themselves be together, physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. They felt whole in this ritual, complete.

They broke away again, and Rey placed her double-bladed saber underneath the bed, a safety measure that had served them well over the years. Before they could undress, Ben hesitated, something very obviously on his mind.

"What's wrong?" Rey coaxed, his chin in her surprisingly gentle hand.

"I wonder if we're doing the right thing, leaving the children with Luke and Mara so much," he whispered. Rey could sense his own fears, his own childhood, fighting the voices in his head telling him that he'd been abandoned despite a room full of people who loved him. She could feel it almost as if it were all her own. Indeed, his words had unlocked her own childhood. The fuzzy years before Jakku, the hope, and the fear she'd denied for too long.

Loneliness was a feeling both knew too well, and neither would wish it upon their children.

"I think we are," Rey said, choosing her words and arranging her thoughts carefully. "You know that Jaina can't wait until she's a Jedi Knight. Jacen's the same way-especially around the Hapan Princess. Han. . ."

"That's who I worry about," Ben confided. "Jacen and Jaina have each other, and both are completely devoted to the Jedi. . . But Han. . . I think we both can sense that he's got his own loneliness. It's not the same as ours."

"Agreed," Rey said. The two began to explore in the Force, exploring each other's thoughts and comparing instinctually, a second nature developed over the past fifteen years. "He doesn't feel alone physically or emotionally, most of the time, I think. You and I both know that while he doesn't socialize as much as the twins, his connections seem deeper."

"Tahiri, Leia, Finn, us," Ben agreed. "Occasionally, he talks to the other Padwans his age. But we all know-don't we? He's more powerful than either twin."

"I just wish we could help him more," Rey said. "I wish I knew how to help more. . ."

"So do I," Ben confessed. "We should probably holo the children before we get to anything else, shouldn't we?"

"We should," Rey agreed as they exchanged sly smiles. Rey then grabbed the holo-comm and fumbled with the buttons. _Thank the Force the transmission's good even from here._

Almost instantly, the blue light flickered into existence, and the three were leaning in on the frame.

"Hi, kids!" Rey said, her heart flooding with affection as she tried not to cry. They've grown up so fast. "Are you doing alright? Have you managed to stay out of trouble for a whole day?"

Jaina and Jacen rolled their eyes, but Han nodded obediently.

"We're fine, Mum, Dad," Han said. "Is Dad there?"

Rey angled the holo-comm to put Ben in view. He smiled.

"How are you, kids?" he asked.

"Same as you were when you put us here," Jaina said dryly.

"I just want to make sure that you're okay," Ben replied, an undercurrent of hurt in his voice.

"We're not little babies anymore!" Jaina pointed out.

"We can handle ourselves just fine!" Jacen added, his voice a seamless addition to Jaina's.

"I know, I know," Ben murmured. "I just worry. You're my children!"

Han managed a smile at that, amidst Jacen and Jaina's indignant expressions.

"Be good for Luke and Mara," Rey said. "I love you three. You know that?"

"Of course, Mom!" Jaina cried, sounding slightly annoyed.

Rey forced herself to laugh, wondering why she always said the wrong thing to her daughter.

"Bye."

The children chorused their goodbyes and the holo flickered off. Rey sighed and set the holo-comm down and looked to Ben.

"I can't help but have a bad feeling about tonight," she murmured.

"I know what you feel," Ben agreed.

* * *

It was only when Rey sensed a disturbance in their room that awoke her was she proven right. She dropped her hand carelessly to the floor, grateful for the elevated platform the bed was on. Her fingers seized around the hilt, and without another millisecond to lose, the first golden blade activated, cutting off the hand holding a blaster over Ben, and awaking Ben quick enough for the would-be assassin to be frozen.

Rey then punched the button on the wall, and in came several guards to apprehend the intruder.

This assassin, instead of being afraid like most people when their hands were being chopped off and when being apprehended by powerful Force-users, just smirked cruelly.

"You can't stop us forever, Jedi," the assassin hissed before the guards could pull him away. "Soon enough, we'll stop you."

Before another word could be said, Rey deactivated her lightsaber and dropped it to the ground, embracing Ben, holding onto him like an anchor.

"I don't know what I would've done if I lost you," she whispered.


	6. Sticks

"Again."

Jaina forced herself to her feet once more as she sized up the recruit staring her down. Through a few lucky strokes, he had somehow managed to disable her and give her the shock of her life.

Nursing her stomach where the training blade had hurt her, she circled her opponent as she let the Force flow through her despite Mara's trying to shut down their Force abilities. It was a trickle, but it was more than the new recruit had. Her body moved almost of its own accord as she danced with her blade, gracefully breaking down the clumsy defenses of the new recruits.

Jaina couldn't help but smirk as she saw the recruit fall in what felt like slow motion. She quickly wiped it off her face as she helped the recruit up with a more friendly and concerned smile.

"You did a good job," she whispered as she looked to Mara, whose brilliant green eyes narrowed and Jaina realized that Mara had felt what she had done.

"Jaina, come over here for a moment. Tash, take a breather," Mara ordered. Jaina reluctantly slinked over to her aunt and stood there in her grandmother's omniscient gaze.

"The point of the exercise is to fight without your abilities," Mara hissed as Tash drained a water bottle left on the side. "It undermines the purpose if you undermine me."

"Yes, Grandmother Mara," Jaina said, biting her lip and holding her tongue. She knew better than to argue with her. She turned around, pushing down the frustration, mostly at herself. She just couldn't help but use the Force- it was like breathing to her-and Mara's ability to shut down the Force made her lungs restrict, the world seemed fuzzier, and her body too clumsy, too slow. Most of all, she felt like death was seconds away, and the only energy she had left was the anxiety-

You need to just do as she says, Jaina reminded herself. There is no emotion, there is peace. There is no chaos, there is serenity.

She turned around, ready to face off again-but without the Force. She took a deep breath that made her petite frame shudder and stepped into the ring against a nervous Tash.

"Again," Mara called into the ring.

Jaina barely had time to turn on her lightsaber and lift it as Tash attacked, her blows strong like a stick, and a little too violent, a little too deliberate as Jaina blocked her with spin after flashy spin, as her father had taught her. She backed away, thinking how to tackle this duelist.

She started with a small poke, barely missing Tash and catching her blade. As Tash raised her sword to swing, Jaina jabbed- right into Tash's side. Tash gasped for breath as she stared at Jaina, who felt tired, heavy, dull, and so dead inside.

Tash and Jaina clashed sabers and the two girls struggled for the success, something they both craved. Tash pushed down hard enough, and the lightsaber flew from Jaina's hand and she landed on her backside in the sand.

Jaina sat up, knowing that lightsaber training was over. She ran a hand through her hair, feeling the three slightly-lopsided buns on the back of her head. Neither Jacen nor Han wanted to help her with her hair that morning, so she was forced to work with her least medium again.

She sighed and picked herself up reluctantly and grabbed her lightsaber lying in the dirt. She grabbed a bit of her tunic and rubbed it over the hilt of her lightsaber, wiping away some dirt and her fingerprints.

"You'll do better eventually, Jaya," Mara assured her. "You just have to learn to shut down your abilities."

Jaina nodded, even though she didn't want to hear it.

"May I be dismissed?" she asked.

"Of course," Mara said with an affectionate smile.

Jaina ran off, feeling the Force flow through her as she left Mara further and further behind until she approached the southern beach of the isle. It was low tide, thank goodness, so she was able to walk across the sand to the entrance to her hideaway. It was the one secret she had hidden from her brothers.

She gripped the side-stones tightly as she scaled to the platform, and sat for a moment on the platform, focusing on creating a light with the Force. The area lit up to reveal the items she left there all those years. An X-wing helmet, boxes of parts and random inventions, toys she'd hoarded away from her brothers, and an airtight container of momentos she wanted safe from everyone and everything.

Her fingers fumbled with the lock and she then opened the box as the light sharpened. She pulled out an old, outdated datapad, an X-wing doll her mother gave her when she was small, and the DL-44 her parents had begun training her with when she was three years old.

She caressed the silver pistol, remembering her father making her a shooting sim when she was of that age. It seemed like too much time had gone by, too fast. She placed the pistol back in the box and pulled out the datapad. It took a few tedious moments to boot up before she could access it. While she couldn't access the HoloNet, this was where she kept her diary.

 _Dear Diary, why can't I just be like the other kids? I know I have a gift, but. . . I sometimes wish I could shut it down not feel so dead inside. I. . . I don't know why I can't just accept it, why I even want any part of being normal- I just feel confused._

Jaina set the datapad aside and sighed. She held the pilot doll in her hand and put the X-wing helmet on her head, imagining that she could be out flying right now. It was the one thing that truly made her feel calm, at peace.

Her childish reverie was broken by the sound of gunfire. She threw off her helmet, stuffed the pilot doll in her pockets, grabbed the DL-44, and locked the box before hiding it amongst her other junk. She used the Force to soften her descent as she ran out onto the beach and looked above to see the shadows of TIE-fighters soaring above, blasting everything to smithereens.

Jaina ran up the beach as she mentally connected with her brothers again as they all headed for the same place.

She raced up the stone steps, only to be thrown off onto the steep grassy hill by a near miss. She scrambled to her feet and ran faster than she ever had for fear of life or death, and hopped the low wall to make it into the hangar bay. Even in the chaos, Jaina's goal was clear.

She ran into the _Millennium Falcon_ where Chewie was waiting in the cockpit.


End file.
